I have been a Jesuit Volunteer for 2 months. Wow, that really amazes me! These past 2 months have flown by with a whirlwind of meet-and-greets, community and spirituality nights, soccer games at the Y, hanging out with my community, and attending free or low cost events throughout the city. My job has changed many times (with the most recent change happening this past week—no more Spanish class).
Discussions with some friends this past week really got me thinking about how I want approach this year. I feel as though I have tried to portray my job in an accurate way and I want to continue to do that, no matter my experience. A former Jesuit Volunteer told us a few weeks ago that JVC isn’t about liking your job. It is about serving, learning about the injustices of society, and sharing those with others so they can learn from your experiences, too. I attempt to paint a picture for others that represents my reality. If 80% of my day is stressful (student fighting, disorder, lack of learning, etc.) and 20% is rewarding (working with small groups outside of the classroom, mentoring my coworker, listening to my students’ problems, etc.), then I express those feelings in the proportions that I experience. I refuse to put on an act. Good and bad, I want those I care about to have an accurate portrayal of my year. I pray that you’ll see it as me being ‘real’ versus negative. I hope that those proportions will get more even or even reverse before my year is over!
When I wrote my sister Sara about the overwhelming number of changes that need to occur at my school in order for these children to experience success, she shared some inspirational words with me. She wrote, “Most importantly. Don’t fear. If you haven’t fixed everything at the end of your time there, well it’s not failure because you’ll still have succeeded in making some change for the better. Right? Get excited. You have a canvas that is grotesque and you can use ANY colors you want to paint it beautiful. You are the artist. Let your creativity flow and be confident that the painting you end up with in May will be far lovelier than what you see today.”
Her words encouraged me. I look at this past week and try to count all of the little changes, or brush strokes that I added to my canvas. I have 2 students who are reading novels at home and when they finish work. They are not only staying out of trouble in class, but also enriching their learning experience. During my lunch period, I’ve started tutoring an eighth grader in Spanish. He has learned to say his name, the difference between feminine and masculine words, and even gained a greater understanding of the “macho” culture evident in many Latino cultures. I had another student proudly tell me, “I’ve been so much better today, Miss Swanson. Don’t you think?” All of those experiences were drops of yellow falling onto my experience.
Right now, my canvas is a dark, saddening mixture of blue, black, brown, and gray. In the corners and across my large canvas are drops of yellow, red, pink, and orange. I am hopeful that those drops will turn into splatters, which in turn will become blotches and so on. Realistically, I know that when I leave next August that the canvas will still have darkness, but I’m confident it’ll be much prettier and filled with color.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
New Beginnings
I just wanted to give a quick little update to all of my loyal readers....
School--I've been riding the school bus home, but I think I've found a way that I can rotate between having a ride and taking the bus. Yesterday, for the first time, I used my time well. Instead of playing bus monitor and arriving home with an upset stomach and headache, I worked for 30 minutes after school on my lesson plans and grades. When I left, I was done for the day. I'm productive during the school time when I plan, but unfortunately, it is never enough. Those extra minutes after school with Internet and printing access made a huge difference. I've realized that being a teacher and not having a car or Internet at home doesn't work very well. When I signed up to be a teacher freshman year of college, I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time working outside of work. Throughout college, I had access to the resources necessary to be an effective teacher (computer, Internet, library, etc). Here in Nashville, working outside of work is highly inefficient (a pet peeve of mine) and overall frustrating. Last week, for example, I would look through my textbooks, come up with ideas, and write them on a sheet of paper. I would think about games and activities, but couldn't create them without Internet. I knew that many things that I wanted to do could be found online. I was confident that with a little of time on Google, I'd have the flashcards, games, rubric, etc. I needed or something close to it. I am grateful that I now have a way to work and be productive! woot woot! I'm impressed by teachers who do it all themselves in areas that have so much less. My struggles, in comparison to theirs, are minute.
Life--Life is happening (good and bad.
GOOD-I'm teaching 1st-3rd grade students at a local Catholic Church called Holy Name. It is my new parish and I absolutely love it! A large portion of the parishioners are Haitian refugees/immigrants and their children. The priest is actually from Haiti, too. It is a small, yet diverse community of believers that love each other and God. It brings me such joy to have found MY parish so early in the year!
BAD-We have mice and my roommates each as much or more sweets than I do. It is hard to have will power when 5 or more people are indulging by you. Good thing we have free memberships at the YMCA which is literally across the road from my house. phew!
paz y amor :D
School--I've been riding the school bus home, but I think I've found a way that I can rotate between having a ride and taking the bus. Yesterday, for the first time, I used my time well. Instead of playing bus monitor and arriving home with an upset stomach and headache, I worked for 30 minutes after school on my lesson plans and grades. When I left, I was done for the day. I'm productive during the school time when I plan, but unfortunately, it is never enough. Those extra minutes after school with Internet and printing access made a huge difference. I've realized that being a teacher and not having a car or Internet at home doesn't work very well. When I signed up to be a teacher freshman year of college, I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time working outside of work. Throughout college, I had access to the resources necessary to be an effective teacher (computer, Internet, library, etc). Here in Nashville, working outside of work is highly inefficient (a pet peeve of mine) and overall frustrating. Last week, for example, I would look through my textbooks, come up with ideas, and write them on a sheet of paper. I would think about games and activities, but couldn't create them without Internet. I knew that many things that I wanted to do could be found online. I was confident that with a little of time on Google, I'd have the flashcards, games, rubric, etc. I needed or something close to it. I am grateful that I now have a way to work and be productive! woot woot! I'm impressed by teachers who do it all themselves in areas that have so much less. My struggles, in comparison to theirs, are minute.
Life--Life is happening (good and bad.
GOOD-I'm teaching 1st-3rd grade students at a local Catholic Church called Holy Name. It is my new parish and I absolutely love it! A large portion of the parishioners are Haitian refugees/immigrants and their children. The priest is actually from Haiti, too. It is a small, yet diverse community of believers that love each other and God. It brings me such joy to have found MY parish so early in the year!
BAD-We have mice and my roommates each as much or more sweets than I do. It is hard to have will power when 5 or more people are indulging by you. Good thing we have free memberships at the YMCA which is literally across the road from my house. phew!
paz y amor :D
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Second Anniversary of our Two Week Anniversary
Life has been sooo busy! Well, busy for a JV. Wednesday we went to the Rhyman and saw "She and Him," and then on Thursday we celebrated Colin's birthday at Beyond the Edge’s Happy Hour before going to the Titans preseason game. Following the Titan's win, I accompanied Scott to watch the USC game (No worries, I'm not a Trojan fan yet). Friday, well, I was a substitute at school and then had an 1 1/4 hour bus ride home. To say the least, it was tiring. Saturday involved our typical weekend morning where I wake up too early, work outside, watch Telemundo, and read before everyone else awakes. We had our library run, as usual, before going to Megan’s work for a community celebration. Basically, I danced with some fun homeless guys all Saturday night. :D
Sunday not only had church and gardening club, but also one of our first social outings, a cookout. Sophie joked about having social anxiety about meeting new people. It was with some current and past Vandy students who were really inviting and kind. I met a special education teacher/grad student and someone who works in the YMCA Latino-Achiever program. I plan on using their connections to get involved in those two communities! It was relieving to finally meet people who had the exact some passions as I did. Conversation flowed so easily because our ideas aligned. I was really grateful!
Monday involved more yard work and going to the Percy Priest Dam for an afternoon of sun tanning, reading, and swimming. I enjoyed swimming in the huge, warm lake. I was reminded of swimming in Lake Longbow during my childhood. It is funny how many things I did when I was younger have reentered my life. Swimming in a lake (not a clean pool) is just one of them. We concluded the marathon of activities last night with a reflective (as usual) community night. Those nights are a bit tiring because we begin at 8:30 p.m., but I do enjoy having someone else lead our conversation and make it meaningful. I have meaningful conversation every day, but not always with every member of my community. Answering specific questions and responding to articles allows me to hear what everyone has to say.
School is still a little unorganized, but I’m careful to not overextend myself. I want to be a good community member, excel at living simply, be intentional with my relationship with God, and work for social justice at Smithson Craighead Academy. I do not want to be so overloaded with work that my attention to the other tenants of JVC suffers. Every day I get better at the tenants and learn more about myself, God, and others. Paz!
Sunday not only had church and gardening club, but also one of our first social outings, a cookout. Sophie joked about having social anxiety about meeting new people. It was with some current and past Vandy students who were really inviting and kind. I met a special education teacher/grad student and someone who works in the YMCA Latino-Achiever program. I plan on using their connections to get involved in those two communities! It was relieving to finally meet people who had the exact some passions as I did. Conversation flowed so easily because our ideas aligned. I was really grateful!
Monday involved more yard work and going to the Percy Priest Dam for an afternoon of sun tanning, reading, and swimming. I enjoyed swimming in the huge, warm lake. I was reminded of swimming in Lake Longbow during my childhood. It is funny how many things I did when I was younger have reentered my life. Swimming in a lake (not a clean pool) is just one of them. We concluded the marathon of activities last night with a reflective (as usual) community night. Those nights are a bit tiring because we begin at 8:30 p.m., but I do enjoy having someone else lead our conversation and make it meaningful. I have meaningful conversation every day, but not always with every member of my community. Answering specific questions and responding to articles allows me to hear what everyone has to say.
School is still a little unorganized, but I’m careful to not overextend myself. I want to be a good community member, excel at living simply, be intentional with my relationship with God, and work for social justice at Smithson Craighead Academy. I do not want to be so overloaded with work that my attention to the other tenants of JVC suffers. Every day I get better at the tenants and learn more about myself, God, and others. Paz!
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