Return Home from Home

Returning to Nashville has been an interesting experience. Once I landed, I was anxious to get home and catch up with my roommates. Since Courtney and Scott had worked overnight shifts at Oasis, I was left for a few hours to sew, take a shower, and grab lunch by myself. Once awake, we all went downtown to watch a few football games. It was comfortable, fun, and relaxing...just what I needed. It felt odd that only 3 of us were back, but great nonetheless.

Sunday started the quick return of the rest of my community (minus Megan). After so long apart, our reunion was extremely celebratory. I loved hearing everyone's stories and seeing what gifts they received. James brought back a head scratcher and a Pee Time golf game for the boys' restroom. They both made me laugh and will be a lot of fun. Courtney got Scott a Shake Weight which has prompted a bicep competition and random spurts of working out in the house. Zumba with Sophie was a blast and the instructor was this little white girl who held her own in a very diverse (talent, race, gender, age, etc.) crowd. Caley got me hooked on her class. I'll be back for sure!

School has improved a little bit because I asked to work with really small groups most of the day and am doing so. Half of my day is with the whole class and the other half I spend with 1 or 2 kids per period. Those students are getting much needed attention and I’m allowed to create some of my own lessons. Using the standards taught by Miss Kline, I am plan lessons that correspond but are on a much lower level. For example, the rest of the class is reviewing cause and effect, while my boys are relearning it. I’ve also started working with a 6th grader who doesn’t understand what is being taught, so he acts out and gets thrown out of class. It is rumored that he’s moving, but I hope not. His home life is really rough, so I can’t imagine what a move would cause.

One of my students has been living with his Grandma for a long time. He calls her his mom and she is a tough woman. She makes him do his homework (which isn’t always right, but at least he tries) and has taught him to respect his elders. His dad was recently released from prison, so he came up to say hi to all of us today. He was really clean-cut, articulate, and interested in being involved. I am hopeful that he will be a part of his son’s life, but nervous about the impending transition. Lots of prayers for this little one!

Homeless at Home

This past weekend, I was waiting in the car for Sean to pick me up from Sara's apartment to go grocery shopping. I didn't have a book (a surprise, I know), so I started praying. I asked God to open my eyes. Daily in Nashville, I ponder my role in life, the lives of my students and the people my community serves, how I can overcome any stereotypes or misconceptions I hold, and many more things. In my hour to and hour from school, I have time to stare out the window and really take time and think. Before JVC, I thought about these things, but I certaintly didn't ponder life and it's joys and challenges for hours everyday. I was afraid that returning to Peoria would cause me to fall into a comfort zone where I put on shades and ignore things that I have been seeing in Nashville.

Luckily, God threw my eyes wide open. I looked around downtown Peoria and saw all of the homeless gentlemen. I didn't do anything different, but I felt "ruined." I couldn't sit there and say, "Oh, that is too bad." Instead, I began wondering how those men became homeless. I prayed for their warmth and safety. My brain refused to return to it's prior state.

Again, when we went to Chicago to see "White Christmas," I was drawn to the homeless. Because I was with my sisters, I didn't talk with any person very long, but I really wanted to grab a spot on the sidewalk and have a chat. The one guy I met called himself Napoleon Bonaparte. Pray for Napoleon in Chicago.

During the winter, I often tell people to stay warm. Rather, pray for those without heat or without homes to stay warm.

Dreaming of Christmas

Sorry that I haven't written in so long. School has been crazy and then I got a little break for Thanksgiving. I'll break my life into different areas so I can catch you all up on the happenings in Nashville.

FAMILY-My parents visited for 4 days over Thanksgiving break and it was incredibly nice. We went thrift and vintage shopping, say Belmont Mansion and the Hermitage went to a Predators game, ate out, and watched a movie. They let me crash at the hotel, which was a nice change. The first night I was glued to the television. I didn't care what I was watching. I just wanted to see what type of TV shows was on. We ended up watching Cash Cab. It is amazing how easily I can be entertained. At Goodwill, we picked up some clothes, movies, and Christmas decorations. I'm happy that I was able to spend some time with my parents. Even when living at home, I saw them a lot but most of my time was with friends, working, school, etc.

SCHOOL-School is rough. Some days I make it through with energy to go to the gym and "get ripped" as Scott likes to say. Other days, I'm lucky to make it home...and then back to school the next day. I've realized that this school is not the right place for me. I can do good things here and will continue to thrive on my little successes. A co-worker described it as culture shock when she was talking about her experience at SCA last year. After she explained, I think I completely agree. I'm working in a culture where disrespect and defiance towards adults is commonplace. I'm trying to be nurturing within an environment of yelling, bullying, and fighting. I'm shocked by it all and frustrated that I have to accept things as they are. Every day, I look at the 6 of 26 who listen, treat myself and others with respect, and are goofy and I am thankful. I am thankful that they are with me every day to make things a little more tolerable.

HAITI-My church's sister parish has fallen out of contact with us so the trip is on hold. Fr. Carre is trying to find another parish that I can help when they go for mission trips later in the year. Cross your fingers! Going to Haiti is really important to me.

LIFE-Life is good. I might really dislike my job, but my community, family, and friends have been incredibly supportive. I really enjoy my little church more and more. Celebrating the holidays with my JVC community has been really nice. Our Thanksgiving dinner was a mixture of donations from the employees of Catholic Charities Refugee Resettlement. The turkey came out perfectly as did our decorations and Christmas card. If you've seen the picture, you are probably asking yourself, "Is Scott wearing a skirt?" In truth, he is. Jimbo wanted us to dress up for Thanksgiving dinner, something that Scott rarely does. Jimbo suggested that Scott find something without holes (Scott did Habitat for Humanity last year so a lot of his things have holes). In retaliation in the funniest way, Scott wore clothes donated to the homeless center that he works at. So, our lovely Scott Newhouse IS wearing the hottest ladies' fashions! That Christmas picture perfectly represents the community. It is beautiful!

HOME- I know feel like I have 2 homes, but I am coming back to Peoria on December 16th. I’m SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED! I’m going salsa dancing on December 17th, which will probably be the highlight of my year. I miss salsa so much. I’ll also be visiting the Penguin Project, taking Joe out, seeing friends, and spending time with family. If you want to meet up, just shoot me an email (cswanson@mail.bradley.edu) or call.

HEAT!!!

Growing up, my dad kept our house quite chilly! I was used to wearing gloves downstairs and using my rice bag to warm me up. I was not accustomed, however, to my workplace and home being an icebox because of broken heaters. After huddling around a space heater and hitting the Y's sauna all weekend, I was looking forward to a toasty SCA. Sadly, the boiler is broker and the vents are leaking. Right before buying 2 space heaters for our house, my roommate's dad said, "Simple living is keeping the heat low, but it is not freezing!" Despite my complaints, last night I realized that I've had a glimpse into the winter months for the homeless. Even in the south, it gets cold. For those homeless people who don't get into a shelter, they are left to fend for themselves on the streets of Nashville. All humans deserve protection and heat. It is unfair that many people throughout the world spend cold nights huddled in doorways, walking around, or curled up on park benches.

Good news everyone! I’m going to Haiti in January. My church is visiting its Sister Parish. The details are few, but the date is set. January 31st-February 5th!

just fine

Every day, I have probably 6-8 people ask me, "How was your day?" I've realized that I have been responding, fine. At first I was a little surprised, since I normally am more descriptive. I try to give details and to be honest. I thought that I had become one of those people who say fine, but who really isn't feeling that way. In truth, work is fine. It is not bad, miserable, or like hell. It is not great, exciting, or fantastic. Work is tolerable. The boys are making some progress. A lot of things are still wrong, obviously, but I can't change them. When we don’t have physical altercations, the day has been a success. Sad, huh, that my standard is so low. For my boys, however, it is hard for them. They argue constantly. Today, when I heard 3 boys helping each other on their worksheet without arguing, I wanted to jump with joy.

Last week, I learned that my student’s grandma died over fall break. This boy already struggles with depression, so I’ve been watching him pretty closely. He has really been struggling. He wants to sleep in class, isn’t paying attention, and is quick to anger. When I talk to him, my heart cries. This little boy has dealt with so much in his 10 short years. I am amazed by his strength (even when it is misdirected). Please, pray for his safety. Please, pray that I can show him how much I care about his happiness and health. Pray that he may find comfort.

Falling for Fall Break

I LOVE FALL BREAK! I spent the weekend at various church events and had a potluck with friends and coworkers. Yesterday, I went to morning mass and then hung out with the refugee elders at Catholic Charities. The rest of the week I plan on watching TV, going to the gym, and spending time with my friend Bilin (visiting from Peoria).

The elders are the cutest things known to man. One man from Iran and another one from Somalia spent time practicing a skit for their upcoming talent show. The two are George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The skit is a little hard to understand, but they are both dedicated to the performance and I'm sure it'll turn out wonderfully. After watching them practice, the elders learned about the United States' government. Part of the lesson included identifying pictures of America's first leaders. One guy (from Iran) joked with a woman (from Somalia) that the guy in the picture was her husband. While she didn't get the joke at first, the Americans in the room cracked up laughing. Her husband, you see, is playing Thomas Jefferson in the skit. After a few minutes of explaining and pointing and laughing, finally she got the joke. The 3 hour class was filled with smiles, celebration, friendship, and learning. Really, it was beautiful. Another woman got a call at the beginning of the class from her children. They had landed in D.C. and were calling to tell her that they'd be arriving in Nashville that night. She and 2 of her children came from the Congo 5 years ago, while her 2 other children stayed behind. Finally, Marie Clare gets to see her "babies." The joy she felt filled the room and many of us had tears in our eyes. While the elders are from different countries, speak different languages, and have had very different lives, they are all connected because of their status as refugees. When she shared her news, everyone celebrated. The support the elders give each other (even when they can't communicate in words) is beautiful. It reminded me that support and love can be expressed in very basic ways. Omar saying to Marie Clare, "So happy," and smiling was just as powerful as any other long list of congratulatory words.

Since it is fall break, my coworker's parents are in town from New Orleans. Last night, they took me out to dinner at Brick Top in West Nashville. We had a beautiful meal and conversation. It was nice to connect with my coworker's parents. I think seeing where she has come from will help me understand and support her even more. Her parents have generous and supportive hearts.

With two very different groups of people, I was reminded that humans are good, loving creatures. When humans love and share it with others, life becomes magical.

Paz y amor

Reading Rocks

I am constantly amazed by the support of my family and friends. I get mail frequently and am becoming more and more aware of people who read my blog. Everyone, thank you and keep it coming. This past week, I got a letter from my 11 year old cousin. It was the cutest letter and set of computer drawings. It definitely warmed my soul.

Two weeks ago was Homecoming at Smithson Craighead Academy. Students were excited to participate in different spirit days and to cheer on our undefeated football team to another victory. Our team won the city championships last year (the school’s first year of operation) and it seems as though they are making another run for the top this year. Twin day was hilarious because so many of the students just wore their uniforms and then declared someone in the same color polo to be their twin. I had a group of boys argue about which red shirt classmate was their twin. They can argue about ANYTHING!

I’ve had teaching positions in which time seemed to drag on forever. My days here are the exact opposite. I realized that time flies because we spend SO MUCH time breaking up fights, solving problems, and getting the boys to listen before we even begin to teach. I wouldn’t say that the class is out of control (all though sometimes it is close), but our boys definitely struggle to follow what seems like the simplest instructions. If we let the boys have an ounce of freedom or fun (working in groups, using whiteboards, centers, etc.), they eventually abuse what we’ve have given them. A few of the smartest and well-behaved boys have become disrespectful and barely do any work. Their behavior makes me the most upset because they have digressed so much. Not only is their behavior hurting their learning, but also affecting other students. I’m hoping that after some serious conversations with them and a day of In-school suspension for the entire class that this week will be positive.

Miss Kline, one of the 5th grade teachers, used donorschoose.com to get over $600 worth of books donated to our classroom. We are going to have a grade leveled library filled with new, high-interest books. We started independent reading on Friday and it went pretty well. Today, the boys will be able to choose books from the new library! Their reading will only improve if they read chapter books and do so every day. We can’t rely on them to do it at home, so we are going to take time in reading class. We are SO excited. I also used money donated my grandma and a friend’s parents to buy folders for math and science. I’ve put paper in each folder and labeled them with the subject and students’ names. Like with Language Arts and Social Studies, the folders will be kept in the class. Finally, the boys will have a way to keep track of their notes and homework in all of their classes. Their learning will sky rocket! I’m excited for this week before a week-long fall break!

Paz y amor!