I have been a Jesuit Volunteer for 2 months. Wow, that really amazes me! These past 2 months have flown by with a whirlwind of meet-and-greets, community and spirituality nights, soccer games at the Y, hanging out with my community, and attending free or low cost events throughout the city. My job has changed many times (with the most recent change happening this past week—no more Spanish class).
Discussions with some friends this past week really got me thinking about how I want approach this year. I feel as though I have tried to portray my job in an accurate way and I want to continue to do that, no matter my experience. A former Jesuit Volunteer told us a few weeks ago that JVC isn’t about liking your job. It is about serving, learning about the injustices of society, and sharing those with others so they can learn from your experiences, too. I attempt to paint a picture for others that represents my reality. If 80% of my day is stressful (student fighting, disorder, lack of learning, etc.) and 20% is rewarding (working with small groups outside of the classroom, mentoring my coworker, listening to my students’ problems, etc.), then I express those feelings in the proportions that I experience. I refuse to put on an act. Good and bad, I want those I care about to have an accurate portrayal of my year. I pray that you’ll see it as me being ‘real’ versus negative. I hope that those proportions will get more even or even reverse before my year is over!
When I wrote my sister Sara about the overwhelming number of changes that need to occur at my school in order for these children to experience success, she shared some inspirational words with me. She wrote, “Most importantly. Don’t fear. If you haven’t fixed everything at the end of your time there, well it’s not failure because you’ll still have succeeded in making some change for the better. Right? Get excited. You have a canvas that is grotesque and you can use ANY colors you want to paint it beautiful. You are the artist. Let your creativity flow and be confident that the painting you end up with in May will be far lovelier than what you see today.”
Her words encouraged me. I look at this past week and try to count all of the little changes, or brush strokes that I added to my canvas. I have 2 students who are reading novels at home and when they finish work. They are not only staying out of trouble in class, but also enriching their learning experience. During my lunch period, I’ve started tutoring an eighth grader in Spanish. He has learned to say his name, the difference between feminine and masculine words, and even gained a greater understanding of the “macho” culture evident in many Latino cultures. I had another student proudly tell me, “I’ve been so much better today, Miss Swanson. Don’t you think?” All of those experiences were drops of yellow falling onto my experience.
Right now, my canvas is a dark, saddening mixture of blue, black, brown, and gray. In the corners and across my large canvas are drops of yellow, red, pink, and orange. I am hopeful that those drops will turn into splatters, which in turn will become blotches and so on. Realistically, I know that when I leave next August that the canvas will still have darkness, but I’m confident it’ll be much prettier and filled with color.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
New Beginnings
I just wanted to give a quick little update to all of my loyal readers....
School--I've been riding the school bus home, but I think I've found a way that I can rotate between having a ride and taking the bus. Yesterday, for the first time, I used my time well. Instead of playing bus monitor and arriving home with an upset stomach and headache, I worked for 30 minutes after school on my lesson plans and grades. When I left, I was done for the day. I'm productive during the school time when I plan, but unfortunately, it is never enough. Those extra minutes after school with Internet and printing access made a huge difference. I've realized that being a teacher and not having a car or Internet at home doesn't work very well. When I signed up to be a teacher freshman year of college, I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time working outside of work. Throughout college, I had access to the resources necessary to be an effective teacher (computer, Internet, library, etc). Here in Nashville, working outside of work is highly inefficient (a pet peeve of mine) and overall frustrating. Last week, for example, I would look through my textbooks, come up with ideas, and write them on a sheet of paper. I would think about games and activities, but couldn't create them without Internet. I knew that many things that I wanted to do could be found online. I was confident that with a little of time on Google, I'd have the flashcards, games, rubric, etc. I needed or something close to it. I am grateful that I now have a way to work and be productive! woot woot! I'm impressed by teachers who do it all themselves in areas that have so much less. My struggles, in comparison to theirs, are minute.
Life--Life is happening (good and bad.
GOOD-I'm teaching 1st-3rd grade students at a local Catholic Church called Holy Name. It is my new parish and I absolutely love it! A large portion of the parishioners are Haitian refugees/immigrants and their children. The priest is actually from Haiti, too. It is a small, yet diverse community of believers that love each other and God. It brings me such joy to have found MY parish so early in the year!
BAD-We have mice and my roommates each as much or more sweets than I do. It is hard to have will power when 5 or more people are indulging by you. Good thing we have free memberships at the YMCA which is literally across the road from my house. phew!
paz y amor :D
School--I've been riding the school bus home, but I think I've found a way that I can rotate between having a ride and taking the bus. Yesterday, for the first time, I used my time well. Instead of playing bus monitor and arriving home with an upset stomach and headache, I worked for 30 minutes after school on my lesson plans and grades. When I left, I was done for the day. I'm productive during the school time when I plan, but unfortunately, it is never enough. Those extra minutes after school with Internet and printing access made a huge difference. I've realized that being a teacher and not having a car or Internet at home doesn't work very well. When I signed up to be a teacher freshman year of college, I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time working outside of work. Throughout college, I had access to the resources necessary to be an effective teacher (computer, Internet, library, etc). Here in Nashville, working outside of work is highly inefficient (a pet peeve of mine) and overall frustrating. Last week, for example, I would look through my textbooks, come up with ideas, and write them on a sheet of paper. I would think about games and activities, but couldn't create them without Internet. I knew that many things that I wanted to do could be found online. I was confident that with a little of time on Google, I'd have the flashcards, games, rubric, etc. I needed or something close to it. I am grateful that I now have a way to work and be productive! woot woot! I'm impressed by teachers who do it all themselves in areas that have so much less. My struggles, in comparison to theirs, are minute.
Life--Life is happening (good and bad.
GOOD-I'm teaching 1st-3rd grade students at a local Catholic Church called Holy Name. It is my new parish and I absolutely love it! A large portion of the parishioners are Haitian refugees/immigrants and their children. The priest is actually from Haiti, too. It is a small, yet diverse community of believers that love each other and God. It brings me such joy to have found MY parish so early in the year!
BAD-We have mice and my roommates each as much or more sweets than I do. It is hard to have will power when 5 or more people are indulging by you. Good thing we have free memberships at the YMCA which is literally across the road from my house. phew!
paz y amor :D
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Second Anniversary of our Two Week Anniversary
Life has been sooo busy! Well, busy for a JV. Wednesday we went to the Rhyman and saw "She and Him," and then on Thursday we celebrated Colin's birthday at Beyond the Edge’s Happy Hour before going to the Titans preseason game. Following the Titan's win, I accompanied Scott to watch the USC game (No worries, I'm not a Trojan fan yet). Friday, well, I was a substitute at school and then had an 1 1/4 hour bus ride home. To say the least, it was tiring. Saturday involved our typical weekend morning where I wake up too early, work outside, watch Telemundo, and read before everyone else awakes. We had our library run, as usual, before going to Megan’s work for a community celebration. Basically, I danced with some fun homeless guys all Saturday night. :D
Sunday not only had church and gardening club, but also one of our first social outings, a cookout. Sophie joked about having social anxiety about meeting new people. It was with some current and past Vandy students who were really inviting and kind. I met a special education teacher/grad student and someone who works in the YMCA Latino-Achiever program. I plan on using their connections to get involved in those two communities! It was relieving to finally meet people who had the exact some passions as I did. Conversation flowed so easily because our ideas aligned. I was really grateful!
Monday involved more yard work and going to the Percy Priest Dam for an afternoon of sun tanning, reading, and swimming. I enjoyed swimming in the huge, warm lake. I was reminded of swimming in Lake Longbow during my childhood. It is funny how many things I did when I was younger have reentered my life. Swimming in a lake (not a clean pool) is just one of them. We concluded the marathon of activities last night with a reflective (as usual) community night. Those nights are a bit tiring because we begin at 8:30 p.m., but I do enjoy having someone else lead our conversation and make it meaningful. I have meaningful conversation every day, but not always with every member of my community. Answering specific questions and responding to articles allows me to hear what everyone has to say.
School is still a little unorganized, but I’m careful to not overextend myself. I want to be a good community member, excel at living simply, be intentional with my relationship with God, and work for social justice at Smithson Craighead Academy. I do not want to be so overloaded with work that my attention to the other tenants of JVC suffers. Every day I get better at the tenants and learn more about myself, God, and others. Paz!
Sunday not only had church and gardening club, but also one of our first social outings, a cookout. Sophie joked about having social anxiety about meeting new people. It was with some current and past Vandy students who were really inviting and kind. I met a special education teacher/grad student and someone who works in the YMCA Latino-Achiever program. I plan on using their connections to get involved in those two communities! It was relieving to finally meet people who had the exact some passions as I did. Conversation flowed so easily because our ideas aligned. I was really grateful!
Monday involved more yard work and going to the Percy Priest Dam for an afternoon of sun tanning, reading, and swimming. I enjoyed swimming in the huge, warm lake. I was reminded of swimming in Lake Longbow during my childhood. It is funny how many things I did when I was younger have reentered my life. Swimming in a lake (not a clean pool) is just one of them. We concluded the marathon of activities last night with a reflective (as usual) community night. Those nights are a bit tiring because we begin at 8:30 p.m., but I do enjoy having someone else lead our conversation and make it meaningful. I have meaningful conversation every day, but not always with every member of my community. Answering specific questions and responding to articles allows me to hear what everyone has to say.
School is still a little unorganized, but I’m careful to not overextend myself. I want to be a good community member, excel at living simply, be intentional with my relationship with God, and work for social justice at Smithson Craighead Academy. I do not want to be so overloaded with work that my attention to the other tenants of JVC suffers. Every day I get better at the tenants and learn more about myself, God, and others. Paz!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Lessons Learned after 3 weeks in JVC
It is amazing how my life can go from miserable to amazing in a day. I'm so grateful that I've had a second chance at Smithson Craighead Academy. The 5th grade (where I was meant to be) is challenging, to say the least, but I love it anyway. I thought that changing jobs meant I was giving up on the high school students. Sister Sandra helped me realize that I wasn't giving up, but rather finding the service that was best suited for me. Here are a few things that I've learned so far.
1. I'm meant to teach children from Latin America.
2. I'm meant to dance often.
3. I'm meant to have friends, work with, raise, etc. people with disabilities.
4. I'm meant to teach teachers to teach.
5. I'm meant to work with elementary and middle school students.
6. I'm meant to sit on the porch at night, drinking sweet tea, and shooting the breeze.
7. I'm meant to find happiness in living simply.
8. I'm meant to learn about other people, places, foods, dances, etc.
9. I'm meant to build community everywhere that I go.
10.I'm meant to take time on the weekends to do nothing.
11.I'm meant to have children of other ethnic and racial backgrounds.
More than anything, I'm meant to love and be loved.
This week during spirituality night, Courtney asked, "Why do you do what you do?" My answer, "To spread love."
So go, my few and loyal readers, and spread love. I'm busy doing it down here in Nashvegas.
P.S. I can't seem to get a good spellcheck and don't have time to proofread. Please excuse my errors. Paz
1. I'm meant to teach children from Latin America.
2. I'm meant to dance often.
3. I'm meant to have friends, work with, raise, etc. people with disabilities.
4. I'm meant to teach teachers to teach.
5. I'm meant to work with elementary and middle school students.
6. I'm meant to sit on the porch at night, drinking sweet tea, and shooting the breeze.
7. I'm meant to find happiness in living simply.
8. I'm meant to learn about other people, places, foods, dances, etc.
9. I'm meant to build community everywhere that I go.
10.I'm meant to take time on the weekends to do nothing.
11.I'm meant to have children of other ethnic and racial backgrounds.
More than anything, I'm meant to love and be loved.
This week during spirituality night, Courtney asked, "Why do you do what you do?" My answer, "To spread love."
So go, my few and loyal readers, and spread love. I'm busy doing it down here in Nashvegas.
P.S. I can't seem to get a good spellcheck and don't have time to proofread. Please excuse my errors. Paz
Thursday, August 26, 2010
New Beginning :D
After telling Sister Sandra that I needed more resources for high school, she decided to offer me a different position! She realized (with my help) that I never wanted to teach the high school. Since I was originally hired to teach 5th grade, I'm happy to report that I'm now coteaching with a young, Teach for America teacher and also serving as a coach. I'm using my experience with small groups, differentiation, and special education to help teachers instruct their students using best practices.
Community life is still going pretty well. We've started watching documentaries together a few nights a week. I really like it because we're all learning about new things and can discuss our responses to it, too. Our dinner situation is quite hilarious. We currently eat a lot of rice, beans, spaghetti, and vegetables. Basically, we rearrange those ingredients every night to make something new. It is good and pretty healthy. The funny part is that most of us have large sweet teeth/tooth/s (I don't know). Sophie and I made a yummy vegan cake and Scott's made delicious peanut butter cookies. We're quite lucky!
Community life is still going pretty well. We've started watching documentaries together a few nights a week. I really like it because we're all learning about new things and can discuss our responses to it, too. Our dinner situation is quite hilarious. We currently eat a lot of rice, beans, spaghetti, and vegetables. Basically, we rearrange those ingredients every night to make something new. It is good and pretty healthy. The funny part is that most of us have large sweet teeth/tooth/s (I don't know). Sophie and I made a yummy vegan cake and Scott's made delicious peanut butter cookies. We're quite lucky!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
One Week Down...
So, I've been in Nashville for just over a week, but it seems like I've lived here for a really long time. Between seeing the community of East Nashville, taking walks, talking for hours on our front porch, eating and cooking as a community, and working, I have fallen into a laid-back, yet busy life. Every week we have a community night and then later in the week a spirituality night. We plan the spirituality night (last week was awesome and included art, prayer, yoga, music, a St. Ignatius Spiritual Exercise), the community time is orchestrated by former JVs. We have 3 former JVs who are our support people. They counsel us and are our go-to people here in Nashville. We went to the Family Wash Thursday night to see Paul Burch & WPA Ballclub. Chris Scruggs was their guest artist on guitar which was a special treat. Ed, one of our support people, bought the drinks and even my molten chocolate cake. Yum! Nashville has a lot of free or cheap entertainment options, especially during the summer. Sophie's famous quote is, "I'll do anything that is free." I really thought that the city would intimidate me, but in reality it is easy to get around. I'm saying that though because a few of the JVs in my house have Iphones. We just look up directions and go where we want. So, maybe that previous statement is mute. We'll have to see when friends come to visit.
So school, well, hm, what to say? School is really rough. It is hard to say that. I love the 4 tenets of JVC and want to love my job, but I just can't right now. I've come into a really rough place where the students don't respect themselves or others (especially their teachers and even more so their White teachers). It kills me that I have to fight extra hard for their respect. Yesterday, my entire afternoon was filled with diffusing arguments, breaking up fights, trying to explain dialect differences between Black English and Standard English, and talking to staff, security, and parents. To say the least, it was emotionally tiring.
On Thursday, when I had the class ask me questions so they could get to know me, one girl asked, "Why would you put up with us?" It was such a shocking question that it took me a minute to respond. I eventually explained, "I believe you are all young, bright, talented, funny, caring, and respectful young adults. I have faith that you will learn to show those things to me, other staff members, and your classmates." Probably the best part of my jobs is being able to use Jesus as an example when counseling or asking them to dig deep within to find the root of their disrespect. Yesterday, I felt God on my heart, so I piggy-backed the other teacher after she had a discussion with the whole class. It was freaking amazing. I didn't think a single thought. All I did was let the Holy Spirit speak through me. And do you know what? Some of them got it. They apologized and improved their behavior for the rest of that period. I guess I'll consider that my one victory for the week.
I've decided that finding joy in the very very very little things at work is going to have to pull me through until things change around. I have faith that it will get better but fear it might take longer than I can handle.
So school, well, hm, what to say? School is really rough. It is hard to say that. I love the 4 tenets of JVC and want to love my job, but I just can't right now. I've come into a really rough place where the students don't respect themselves or others (especially their teachers and even more so their White teachers). It kills me that I have to fight extra hard for their respect. Yesterday, my entire afternoon was filled with diffusing arguments, breaking up fights, trying to explain dialect differences between Black English and Standard English, and talking to staff, security, and parents. To say the least, it was emotionally tiring.
On Thursday, when I had the class ask me questions so they could get to know me, one girl asked, "Why would you put up with us?" It was such a shocking question that it took me a minute to respond. I eventually explained, "I believe you are all young, bright, talented, funny, caring, and respectful young adults. I have faith that you will learn to show those things to me, other staff members, and your classmates." Probably the best part of my jobs is being able to use Jesus as an example when counseling or asking them to dig deep within to find the root of their disrespect. Yesterday, I felt God on my heart, so I piggy-backed the other teacher after she had a discussion with the whole class. It was freaking amazing. I didn't think a single thought. All I did was let the Holy Spirit speak through me. And do you know what? Some of them got it. They apologized and improved their behavior for the rest of that period. I guess I'll consider that my one victory for the week.
I've decided that finding joy in the very very very little things at work is going to have to pull me through until things change around. I have faith that it will get better but fear it might take longer than I can handle.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
First Day of School
After a week of orientation and 5 days of in-city orientation and cleaning (eww...our house needed some major help), I'm starting school today. Most of my community members are riding the bus, but since I work in a pretty rough neighborhood and it is hard to access by public transportation, I'm getting picked up. In a few days, I'll have a loaner car from Project Reflect that I'll be able to take to and from school. Internet at home is very weak and goes in and out a lot so I'm hesitant to write anything long. We wouldn't want my great insight to be whisked away by the great internet-god, would we? Off to start teaching 9th graders!
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